Depression: Before You Reach for the Prozac
"I Wonder If You Could Help Me With Something..."

Increase Your Self Esteem in 23 Seconds Flat!

Weekend Self Esteem Workshop Simplified Down to 23 Seconds Flat

  Happiness Woman Making Snow Angel


Fill in the blanks of the following statements, and then read out loud.

1) My ____________ is too big, but that's OK,

 I'm still a Child of God.

2) My ___________  is too small, but that's OK,

I'm still a Child of God

 3) With other people, I am not ___________ enough; but that's OK, 

I'm still a Child of God.

Believe it.

You are a real find,

A joy in someone's heart.

You are a jewel,

Unique and priceless.

Believe it.

God don't make no junk.

                                           Herb Barks

  Self Concept- Valentine Candy I'm Me



The "secret" to increased self esteem is not about generating a Personality Trait "Pro" list that is longer than your Personality Trait "Con" list. It is not about deciding that you have enough good qualities so that you deserve to have self love.

Your self esteem is a psychological concept with roots in spirituality. It is a precious and private choice to decide that you are "deserving" of self love just because you are a human being and you exist on the planet. That's it.  Sure, you have things about you that could use some attention. Have some personal integrity and gently attend to those things. That's all. Have the gentle intention to be a better person.

If atheism or agnosticism is your thing, no problem. Making a "precious and private choice to decide that you are "deserving" of self love just because you are a human being and exist on the planet" still works.

Beyond that and in the meantime, love yourself warts and all!  Don't try to believe that you don't have any warts or that your warts don't matter. Accept that you have some just like the rest of us and love yourself warts and all! God does. And if you're good enough for God, well then, who are you to disagree with God? There is a picture of you in God's wallet.

Remember, "God don't make no junk!"


Joy Man in Street Silhouette



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Freddie Rodriguez

Kris - Your words are profound and make a lot of sense. I do love myself no matter what. I am a child of God and I am loved by many. Sometimes, life throws obstacles at me which sometimes I feel I can't handle. I am the type of person who takes everything very seriously and I am very vulnerable to everything that is told to me. I have learned to set aside what is said to me and love myself for who I am. I am the kind of person that lets everyone walk all over me and never speak my mind. I know I need to say what is on my mind when the time arises, but sometimes I also know that some things are better off not said at all if they are only going to drive me crazy and up a wall. Thank you for the great advice. I will take it and apply it to my life to better my self esteem - not just today but every day of my life.I am only human and we all make mistakes. I will accept me for who I am and keep loving myself.

Kristin L. Roush, Ph.D.

Hi Freddie,
I am so glad you are determined to protect your self-esteem. I think it is great that you use discretion about speaking up... and... I hope you will practice using your voice to express your legitimacy.

Kanyinda Lukusa

So, self-esteem is all about accepting who you are and to care less about what other people think about you?

Kristin L. Roush, Ph.D.

Well, I would say that self-acceptance is certainly part of self-esteem. Self-compassion and self-forgiveness, and self-awareness are some other aspects. And, I would say it is not about not caring at all about what others think of you. It's about not needing others' approval in order to have self-worth. Thanks for your question!

Karen Hohimer

Hi Kris - I really appreciate what you wrote here. A couple years back I was really struggling with self-worth because I was concerned with how I compared to everyone else, and I wanted to be perfect and moral and was failing by all accounts. I placed so much emphasis on what I DID as defining my worth, rather than who I AM. God made me who I AM; His child, healthy, (reasonably) intelligent, loved, given opportunities and capacities beyond comprehension... I am all of these things without earning any of it. I cannot doubt that I am loved and I have worth. Who would reasonably invest in something so much if it had no value?

Kristin L. Roush, Ph.D.

Hi Karen,
Well said! Thanks so much for sharing your process of arriving at such a reasoned conclusion. I hope you will comment again sometime!

Michael Holton

Thank you, Kris. This post was awesome, especially when feeling down I have to remember that I am a child of GOD.

Felisha Quintana

Hi Kris,
You truly have words of wisdom! This was by far the best blog post. As for me, my self-esteem is great. I love myself and I do not let anyone bring me down for the way I am. I love myself and that's that.

Kristin L. Roush, Ph.D.

You are welcome, Michael.
I appreciate your support, and thank you for taking the time to comment.

Kristin L. Roush, Ph.D.

Hi Felisha,
"I love myself and that's that." LOL! Love it!
And I can't help but think that Lady Ga Ga would add, "'Cuz baby, I was born this way!"

Daisy Reyes

Kris, this was such an inspirational and thought-provoking article. I am very self-concious about what others think of me. Which is why I think I can relate very well with what you have said here. To me, the fact that you said “but that’s Ok, I’m still a Child of God” got me thinking about what really mattered in this world: being a “Child of God.” Everyone else can think or treat me however, but God will always love me no matter what. What God thinks of me is what matters in the long run and if we lose everything else on earth we will still have God. I also liked how you said we must not think that our "warts do not matter." There must be a balance. Thank you for your encouraging words.

Kristin L. Roush, Ph.D.

Hi Daisy,
I am so glad you got the essence of that message. It's true. When I am on my deathbed someday, reflecting on my life, all those people who judged me along the way will be long gone. It will be just me and God and we will have a heart to heart. If you think about it, the same thing happens every night, so let go of all the daily silliness around the need for social approval, and focus on your own approval and God's approval. Good on you!

Renae Renteria

Kris, this post was very heart warming to me. I do suffer from low self-esteem. Although I am going through a lot with my daughter, I try my hardest to keep it together. The fact that I do know that I have God in my life, and we are His children makes it that much easier to keep going. This post has also helped me to to believe I can do it, for my children and myself. I look forward to reading more of your posts. Thanks for the awsome boost of life!

Kristin L. Roush, Ph.D.

Thanks, Renae, for sharing. I totally understand. You know, it is probably more than coincidental that you chose the word "suffer." It reflects an important nuance, borrowing from the Buddhist tradition, that "suffering" often is the result of electing to hold onto or cause our own pain. I differentiate between legitimate pain and illegitimate suffering, or "Pain is inevitable; suffering is optional." The next time you find yourself putting yourself down, stop and send up a quick prayer of gratitude instead. Just a thought...

Stefan Parmark

Thanks for sharing this recipe! You really show how simple it is. I will remember this the next time I put myself down.

Kristin L. Roush, Ph.D.

Hi Stefan!
I am so glad you found this post helpful. I like the simplicity of this "recipe." Thanks so much for visiting and I hope you will consider subscribing and staying in touch. I appreciate your taking the time to leave a comment!

Stefan Parmark

A good article certainly deserves a comment. I am using your RSS feed to get updates.
Keep on writing good articles!
PS. Please check my blog. You will find we have common interests, to help people by writing helpful articles.

Kristin L. Roush, Ph.D.

Hi again,
Thank you! I'm so glad you are a Subscriber. I look forward to checking out your blog. Comment anytime!

Hugo Rios

I really enjoy the way your express yourself and how descriptive you are in this topic about self-esteem because I am also a firm believer and follower in the word of God. I believe we are all children of God, created by Him and for Him. There’s a saying that states, “You realize all you need is God when all you have is God,” which holds/preserves my self-esteem in those moments of depression or anxiety that occur in my life. When I open my bible to read a verse, that moment of spirituality and intimacy with our Lord heals and re-establishes peace in my soul. In my opinion, to be happy in life we have to Love God first in order to love ourselves and value what He has done with our lives. I’m personally beginning to grasp the ties of psychology and spirituality as I am taking your lectures. I start to recognize many things that fall into place and make common sense. Thank you for your excellent work as an instructor!

Kristin L. Roush, Ph.D.

Hi Hugo,
Thanks so much for your eloquent sharing. I am so glad you are seeing some connections between psychology and spirituality. I enjoy having you in my class!

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